


Letters

by dragonluvr



Category: NCIS
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-06
Updated: 2014-04-06
Packaged: 2018-01-18 10:33:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,691
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1425313
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dragonluvr/pseuds/dragonluvr
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I don't own NCIS or its Characters. Furthermore I do not own the song lyrics that are here. Some are by Reba and one is by Sarah Brightman. Two of the greatest artists in the world. This is my take on what would have happened if Gibbs and Tim had been in a relationship at the time of the explosion that robbed Gibbs of his memories. Please review and let me know what you think.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Letters

Letters   
Dearest Jethro  
If your reading this its not only my birthday but our one year anniversary. Its been one year since you asked me to marry you. I've loved you for so long at times it hurts to see you with someone new. Now that you were mine I just can't believe your gone.   
After that first night together and you told me how you loved me, i've never been so happy. That was until that fateful day you were taken from me by the explosion that robbed you of your memory. I thought my life was over. I thought you had died. Instead i'm the one that died inside.   
You lost your memory and didn't remember who I was. “You even called me Tony.”   
You didn't know how much that hurt. What hurt the most was that you forgot me and you forgot us. You forgot what he had and could have had. Now thats gone. Now you belong to someone else.   
Once again I find myself all alone in the world.   
I know that if your reading this letter then either I am dead or I resigned.   
Either way just know that I love you always and forever. You will always be mine and I will always be yours.   
I will always love you. Now and forever.  
I leave you with the lyrics to one of the songs I listen to when my heart is heavy with them memories that we shared and that you have now since forgotten.   
Just know I will always love you and be here for you my love. 

"Forever Love"  
The first time I laid my eyes on you I knew.  
We'd spend this life side by side.  
I still feel the same though you're so far away.  
I swear that you'll always be my.

Forever love.  
I promise you.  
Someday we'll be together.  
Forever love.  
I won't give up.  
No matter what.  
I'll be waiting for you.  
Forever love.

Minutes and hours and years may go by.  
But my heart knows nothing of time.  
So don't cry, just keep me right there.  
In your dreams.  
And hold on to these words of mine.

Forever love.  
I promise you.  
Someday we'll be together.  
Forever love.  
I won't give up.  
No matter what.  
I'll be waiting for you.  
Forever love.

Love is the road to our destiny.  
Nothing can change what is meant to be.

Forever love.  
I promise you.  
Someday we'll be together.  
Forever love.  
I won't give up.  
No matter what.  
I'll be waiting for you.  
Forever love.

Always and forever   
Love Tim.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Letters 2

Dearest Jethro:  
I wanted you to know that my feelings for you have never changed even though you still don't remember us and our time together. Its our second anniversary and my heart is heavy. You were the light of my life and now its been dimmed. I watch as you see woman after woman. It hurts seeing you day after day knowing that it was me that shared your bed and your life for however brief a time we had together.   
As usual no one even remembered today was my birthday even though I never forget theirs and remind them how special they are.   
You don't even remember that this is our second anniversary. But then how could you when you don't even remember us and what we had.   
Each year I remember everyones birthday and yet every year no one remembers mine and I am left alone. I still hope that one day before our next anniversary you will remember and come back to me.   
It saddens and hurts my heart to not only spend my birthday and our anniversary alone knowing that your at the home we shared, that your with someone else.   
What I wouldn't give to have you back in my life and to know that you still love me. It's great to have you back at NCIS.   
I just wanted you to know I will and always have loved you Jethro.  
HAPPY ANNIVERSARY.  
MY LOVE.   
Tim McGee.   
I heard this song today and thought about you. Because what you never know will never hurt you but it is killing me day by day. 

 

"What You Never Know"  
What you never know won't hurt you   
What you never know won't lie  
What you never know won't desert you  
What you never know won't say goodbye

What you never know won't hurt you  
What you never know won't lie  
What you never know won't desert you  
What you never know won't make you cry

What you never know  
What you never, never, never, know  
What you never know

What you never know won't hurt you  
What you never know won't lie  
What you never know won't desert you  
What you never know unless you try

What you never know won't hurt you

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Letters 3  
Dearest Jethro:  
It's been 3yrs now since the explosion that robbed you of your memory of us and me of you. I have resigned myself to never get you back. Its another year and one more birthday and anniversary has come and gone. Another year of watching the myriad of women waltzing in and out of your life. Another year spent watching you trying to find a happiness that doesn't come. Every time one comes and goes it gets harder and harder for me to keep silent and hide the pain in my heart. At times the hurt is to much and I take our photo album out and look at the cherished memories of those times together that we shared. It's been 3yrs since I last set foot in our home. After your accident I made sure to remove all traces of us. I didn't want to hurt you or confuse you. I didn't want the others to find out this way about us. So I hid everything from them and you my love. I have never said anything because it would hurt us both. I can't bear to ever hurt you no matter what it costs me. Even though my heart breaks a little more every day. I'm not sure how much longer I can keep up my brave face. I want you to know that no matter what I will always love you. I can only hope that one day you will come back to me.  
Know matter what I will always love you.  
Forever yours  
Tim.

p.s I heard this song today and thought of us.   
"How Was I To Know"  
My world revolved around you  
Every word was a promise I was hangin' on  
Swept up inside a whirlwind  
I just couldn't see the end till you were gone  
I thought I would fall apart  
With shattered dreams and a broken heart  
Scramblin' in the dark

How was I to know  
That I'd be O.K.  
Thought I'd lose it all when you walked away  
How was I to know  
I would be this strong  
I had what it takes all along  
How was I to know

What I was so afraid of  
Turned out to be my freedom in disguise  
Now I know what I'm made of  
Guess it just took some time to realize  
I was blind I couldn't tell  
Put too much faith in someone else  
Gave up on myself

How was I to know  
That I'd be O.K.  
Thought I'd lose it all when you walked away  
How was I to know  
I would be this strong  
I had what it takes all along  
How was I to know

How was I to know  
That I'd be O.K.  
Thought I'd lose it all when you walked away  
How was I to know  
I would be this strong  
I had what it takes all along  
How was I to know  
How was I to know

 

 

Letters 4

Dear Jethro:  
Once again its my birthday and our anniversary. Once again i've been forgotten. Seems like every year its the same. No matter how much I love you, you still don't remember us. Maybe you do and are ashamed to be with me, or you don't want me anymore. If thats the case I wish you would just tell me so I can go on with my life. I've though so many times about leaving over the last four years. I just can bring myself to leave the job and the man I love. Even though he doesn't remember me. I talked to Ducky today, just to have someone to talk to. He was your best man at our commitment ceremony. He knows how much i'm hurting but I still can't tell you. How do I tell a man that we were lovers when he can't remember our life together. No matter what I still and will always love you.   
I still hope one day you will remember my love for you and your love for me and the love we shared if for only a brief time. Until our love is reunites us I will forever love you Jethro.   
When I hear this song it reminded me so much of our situation even though you don't realize it.   
So I leave you with these song lyrics.   
Love always   
Timothy McGee.

"It Just Has To Be This Way"  
The sound of your voice the touch of your skin  
If we go there it will start all over again  
So don't even call there no need for checking in  
If it's really over let it just be over

No, we won't be sharing coffee  
Or having lunch from time to time  
I won't ask about your family  
Please don't ask me about mine  
This is never what I wanted  
And it's killing me to say  
It just has to be this way

We gave all we could we fought the good fight  
But no matter how we loved we couldn't get it right  
It hurts to let go but it's harder hangin' on  
I don't want it to be over we know that it's over

No, we won't be sharing coffee  
Or having lunch from time to time  
I won't ask about your family  
Please don't ask me about mine  
This is never what I wanted  
And it's killing me to say  
It just has to be this way

And even if I change my mind  
Don't let me hurt me one more time  
Stay away from me be as cold as you can be

No, we won't be sharing coffee  
Or having lunch from time to time  
I won't ask about your family  
Please don't ask about mine  
This is never what I wanted  
And it's killing me to say  
It just has to be this way

Oh, it just has to be this way

 

Letters 5

Dearest Jethro:

Its with a heavy heart and great sorrow that I face another birthday and anniversary without you or anyone else.   
It's with a heavy heart that if your reading this letter then I couldn't take it any longer and have resigned form NCIS. Not only from a job I love but from the man I love with all my heart. I have watched the last five years as women parade in and out of your life and yet I haven't been able to tell you how I feel or what I feel for you. It's been five years and my heart still breaks every day and I have to hide the hurt inside. It hurts so much not being able to touch you. To kiss you, to hold you, to share my life with you. It hurts to keep my feelings for you secret.   
Its been a hard decision for me to make. To leave you and the job I love so much. I will miss you greatly and my love for you will always live in my heart. I will carry your love in my heart always.   
I wish you all the best and hope that one day you will finally find the love that we both had for each other and that you will once again find happiness.   
I will love you forever.  
Tim your loving husband. 

I will leave you with one last song.   
Never forget that I love you. 

"If I Had Only Known"  
If I had only known  
It was the last walk in the rain  
I'd keep you out for hours in the storm  
I would hold your hand  
Like a life line to my heart  
Underneath the thunder we'd be warm  
If I had only known  
It was our last walk in the rain

If I had only known  
I'd never hear your voice again  
I'd memorize each thing you ever said  
And on those lonely nights  
I could think of them once more  
Keep your words alive inside my head  
If I had only known  
I'd never hear your voice again

You were the treasure in my hand  
You were the one who always stood beside me  
So unaware I foolishly believed  
That you would always be there  
But then there came a day  
And I turned my head and you slipped away

If I had only known  
It was my last night by your side  
I'd pray a miracle would stop the dawn  
And when you'd smile at me  
I would look into your eyes  
And make sure you know my love  
For you goes on and on  
If I had only known  
If I had only known  
The love I would've shown  
If I had only known

 

As Gibbs sits and reads these he realizes what he has lost. Not only a man who is kind and loving but at one time meant the world to him. Realizing this breaks his heart. He has lost the only man that ever loved him and now he can never get him back.   
Sitting on the bed in Tim's apartment Gibbs lets himself cry for the first time in a long time. Because Tim was killed today saving the life of the one person in all his life that meant the world to him and loved him.   
Gibbs doesn't know how long he has cried but he is tired and worn out. Getting up to leave Tim's bedroom he notices a photo album on Tim's dresser. Picking it up he opens it and is hit by emotions so strong as he begins to look through the pictures of his and Tim's life together.   
Suddenly a scream pierces the night and silence of Tim's apartment as Gibbs screams "NO! Why didn't you tell me Tim! Why!" . Gibbs hits his knees and is clutching the photo album when Tony and Ziva appear in the door way in time to see the man they consider a father collapses on the floor.   
The album is open the the photo of Gibbs and Tims commitment ceremony. Tony and Ziva stare open mouthed at the picture of Gibbs and Tim kissing.   
Before either of them can ask the question thats on their minds Ducky arrives.   
" Anthony help me get Jethro onto Tim's bed and then i suggest you both leave. I don't want Jethro upset anymore than he is now. Your questions will have to wait." Ducky declares as they get Gibbs into Tim's bed.  
Tony starts to say something the only thing that stops him is the look on Ducky's face.   
Without another word they do as Ducky requests and quietly leaves.   
A few minutes later Gibbs comes out of his stupor.   
"Why didn't Tim tell me Duck. Why?" Gibbs quietly asks.  
"Because Jethro he wanted you to come back to him on your own. He always held out hope that you would one day remember how much you loved him and he loved you."  
"Why didn't you tell me?" Jethro says with the deep hurt in his voice.  
" Timothy forbade me to tell you. No matter how much it hurt him Jethro. After all that young man had been through I wouldn't betray him. Not for you or him. Just know that he loved you with all his heart and soul. He never gave up on you Jethro."


End file.
